I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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