are you still at the devil's house?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize