I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think your dad took our porno
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
