I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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