Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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