Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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