Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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