Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
