I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Pants are for mortals
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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