Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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