I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize