Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
