My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
