i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
