She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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