i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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