glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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