i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
