All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
