i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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