he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
