I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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