just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
did you just send me my own nude
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
