half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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