i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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