jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
