Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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