It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
