she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
