Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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