There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
