Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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