I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Enjoy the penises
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
