i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
