You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
