regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
