There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
