If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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