Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
