Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
