Can i not drive my cunt home
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
