I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
