and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
