dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
