Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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