I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
