i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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