Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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