we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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