i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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