Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
