I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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