we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
