? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
