I must be too annoying 4 u.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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