I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
