Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
