when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
