just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
