to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
