the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
