I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize